How to grieve someone you had a complicated relationship with

Grief is often seen as something that is intrinsically connected with love. However, to some people, grief does not equal love. How do you grieve someone you didn’t like? In the below I’ll share some thoughts on how this may affect your grief and what to say or do at a funeral for someone you[…]

woman writing

How to write a eulogy – five prompts to tell a life story in a compelling way

Writing a eulogy for a funeral service can be a daunting task. It’s quite a responsibility to capture the life of your special person in a few minutes. A common approach is to describe someone’s story in a chronological way and this may work very well. However, if you are looking for alternative options that[…]

St Marylebone Crematorium in North London

Direct Cremation: how to make an informed choice

Direct Cremation is becoming an increasingly popular choice for people arranging a funeral. It’s been promoted as an affordable, simple and no fuss option. Sounds good, right? However, not everyone realises what a Direct Cremation involves and it might not be the right choice after all! In this blogpost I discuss pros and cons of[…]

Coffin decorated with flowers and photo

I couldn’t attend my friend’s funeral. This is how I remembered him.

This summer marks the first death anniversary of my dear friend Christian, who died in August 2021. Covid travel restrictions were still in place and I did not attend his funeral. I was concerned that I could not say my farewells properly and felt awful about not going. However, I found meaningful ways to mourn[…]

Baby funeral by London based funeral celebrant Rosalie Kuyvenhoven, Rituals Today
Cherry Blossom (C) London based funeral celebrant Rosalie Kuyvenhoven
Hampstead Heath. Photo credits (c) Rosalie Kuyvenhoven, Rituals Today

Beautiful poems and readings for an autumn funeral

Every season has its own special beauty. Autumn has many attributes that relate to the cycle of life and death. Watching nature transform its colours from green to a palette of golden yellow, bright red and warm brown is a delight. Yet, there is also a sadness in all this beauty as it is also[…]

Free download: a Guide to Dementia Friendly Funerals

A Guide to Dementia Friendly Funerals. Written by Rosalie Kuyvenhoven in association with Dementia Friendly Haringey and The London Cremation Company and sponsored by the National Association of Funeral Directors. Including people with dementia, where possible, in funeral arrangements and on the day of the funeral helps them express their emotions and say their farewells[…]

Supporting people with dementia: how to have a dementia-friendly funeral?

How to have a dementia-friendly funeral? In this blog, I take you on my own journey in finding out who to support bereaved people with dementia. Learn why this is important, what it involves and how you can make a positive difference. Check also my online training on this subject: It started with awareness …[…]

Holding hands

Dementia and grief: how to support people with dementia in funeral arrangements

Quite a few funerals I conduct are related to dementia. Either the person who has died or a living family member has been diagnosed with the disease. This raises specific questions and thoughts around funeral arrangements, such as: “Should we take mum to the funeral? She will not remember anything of it” “We don’t need[…]

The Goodbye-box: a playful way to help children grieve

Children grieve too but they do this differently than adults. Unlike adults, children have a limited ability to express their feelings, thoughts and memories verbally. Alternatively, play can be an effective and safe way for them to give messages on how they feel. Bonnie Jansen, who teaches at a primary school in the Netherlands and has[…]

Is taking children to a funeral a good idea?

“I am not sure if I should take my children to the funeral. What do you think?” Can I take my child to a funeral? It’s a question parents often ask me as a funeral celebrant. If prepared well, attending a funeral can be a healthy, healing and positive experience for children. The following feedback from a[…]

Why we need to rethink funeral spaces

Funeral at Willow Row Barrow, Cambridgeshire On a chilly but bright autumn morning, David’s family and friends gathered to both celebrate his life and acknowledge his death at the place he had chosen as his final resting place, Willow Row Barrow, in the Cambridgeshire countryside. It was the first time that a funeral ceremony was[…]

The future of funerals: what the UK funeral industry can learn from the Dutch

A few weeks ago, I went on a funeral field trip to The Netherlands. I was curious to learn more about the funeral practices in my home country. The Dutch are well known for the relaxed, personal and innovative way of dealing with their dead. What can de UK funeral world learn from their neighbours?[…]