How to grieve someone you had a complicated relationship with

Grief is often seen as something that is intrinsically connected with love. However, to some people, grief does not equal love. How do you grieve someone you didn’t like? In the below I’ll share some thoughts on how this may affect your grief and what to say or do at a funeral for someone you[…]

woman writing

How to write a eulogy – five prompts to tell a life story in a compelling way

Writing a eulogy for a funeral service can be a daunting task. It’s quite a responsibility to capture the life of your special person in a few minutes. A common approach is to describe someone’s story in a chronological way and this may work very well. However, if you are looking for alternative options that[…]

St Marylebone Crematorium in North London

Direct Cremation: how to make an informed choice

Direct Cremation is becoming an increasingly popular choice for people arranging a funeral. It’s been promoted as an affordable, simple and no fuss option. Sounds good, right? However, not everyone realises what a Direct Cremation involves and it might not be the right choice after all! In this blogpost I discuss pros and cons of[…]

Coffin decorated with flowers and photo

I couldn’t attend my friend’s funeral. This is how I remembered him.

This summer marks the first death anniversary of my dear friend Christian, who died in August 2021. Covid travel restrictions were still in place and I did not attend his funeral. I was concerned that I could not say my farewells properly and felt awful about not going. However, I found meaningful ways to mourn[…]

Sacred Stones Willow Row Funeral

What is a funeral celebrant?

Increasingly, people opt for a non-religious funeral service led by a celebrant. If you are reading this, you may be interested in this option too. At a celebrant-led funeral service, it’s the life and the personality of the person who has died that is at the heart of the service. But how does a celebrant-led[…]

Hampstead Heath. Photo credits (c) Rosalie Kuyvenhoven, Rituals Today

Beautiful poems and readings for an autumn funeral

Every season has its own special beauty. Autumn has many attributes that relate to the cycle of life and death. Watching nature transform its colours from green to a palette of golden yellow, bright red and warm brown is a delight. Yet, there is also a sadness in all this beauty as it is also[…]

The Goodbye-box: a playful way to help children grieve

Children grieve too but they do this differently than adults. Unlike adults, children have a limited ability to express their feelings, thoughts and memories verbally. Alternatively, play can be an effective and safe way for them to give messages on how they feel. Bonnie Jansen, who teaches at a primary school in the Netherlands and has[…]

Is taking children to a funeral a good idea?

“I am not sure if I should take my children to the funeral. What do you think?” Can I take my child to a funeral? It’s a question parents often ask me as a funeral celebrant. If prepared well, attending a funeral can be a healthy, healing and positive experience for children. The following feedback from a[…]

Why we need to rethink funeral spaces

Funeral at Willow Row Barrow, Cambridgeshire On a chilly but bright autumn morning, David’s family and friends gathered to both celebrate his life and acknowledge his death at the place he had chosen as his final resting place, Willow Row Barrow, in the Cambridgeshire countryside. It was the first time that a funeral ceremony was[…]

The future of funerals: what the UK funeral industry can learn from the Dutch

A few weeks ago, I went on a funeral field trip to The Netherlands. I was curious to learn more about the funeral practices in my home country. The Dutch are well known for the relaxed, personal and innovative way of dealing with their dead. What can de UK funeral world learn from their neighbours?[…]

Funerals: how to select the right music (and avoid the Top 10 Funeral Hits)

  What music would you like to have played at your funeral? One of your favourite songs? A traditional hymn? Should it be sombre, or rather uplifting and cheerful? Not many people plan their funeral and in our society it’s not something we usually discuss over a cuppa or a pint of beer. Which is[…]

Good Funeral Awards 2016. Death, Oscars and Two Important Questions.

Thursday, 8th September I will be attending the biggest party in the funeral world. At a glamorous lunch in London, a diverse bunch of people will be celebrating outstanding and innovative initiatives in the world of death and dying. One of the most exciting parts of the event is the announcement of the winners of the Good Funeral Awards[…]

Ode to the crematorium angels

  “Going into the tomb, they saw a young man in a white robe seated on the right side; and they were startled. But he said to them, “Don’t be alarmed! You are looking for Jesus of Nazareth (…) He isn’t here. Look, here’s the place where they laid him. Go, tell his friends, that[…]

Why death is all about life: my Death Cafe takeaway

    Update: Friday 17th June I will be hosting a Death Café at Priory Park Café (London, N8) for Crouch End Festival. Click here for more information and sign-up. When I enthusiastically told a friend that I had been to a Death Café, she looked a bit puzzled. ‘A Death Café? That sounds really[…]

Departures: how to let go with beauty and dignity

Recently, I watched the film ‘Departures’, a 2008 Japanese drama by director Jōhirō Takita. The film is about a young man (Daigo Kobayashi) who, after a failed career as a cellist, stumbles across work as a nōkanshi, a traditional Japanese ritual mortician. Daigo’s work is to prepare bodies for cremation in a ceremony called encoffinment.[…]